FEELING A LITTLE MORE LIKE MYSELF......

I am feeling a little more like myself today (thank God).... My last rambling rant was terribly self centered. For that I am sorry but I was feeling blue about a lot of things. I mean I felt like every wrong turn I ever made in my life was magnified 1000000%. Thanks it great part here in blogland for setting me back on my feet again. Sometimes a reality check is all it takes sometimes. I still feel a little blue but that I am sure is in great part to PMS...

My husband (bless his little heart) does the best he can. He is a good man the majority of the time. He is a dreamer and that is one of the things that made me fall in love with him. So why now after all these years does that (once cute) thing bother me? After 15 years it's not so cute any more, that's why.

Well we went 38 miles out of town in the opposite direction of where we now live and work. We looked at a house that is 4000 square ft, all hardwood floors. It has a 2 car garage (for him) 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms... in the main house. Then there is a carriage house with full kitchen, living room and bathroom. It can be used for a rental property or a mom-in-law suite. It is in a good neighborhood. Needs work though. Nothing we can't handle. So we are considering it. We are still looking though. It will take me an hour to get to work everyday. That would suck but I think it would be worth it. I will keep you all posted.

SOMETIMES THE DISADVANTAGES ARE TOO MUCH....

I swear that sometimes it is really hard being the Mama of all mamas. I feel so trapped sometimes. I mean really. I didn't get a college education. I went to trade school instead. I wanted to join the Peace Corps but my parents talked me out of it. I wanted to become an architect but my parents wouldn't help me at all financially and I couldn't do it alone. So there it stands I went to trade school. Talk about heading straight down the path of a deadend life.

I fell for my husband because he was HOT! I mean REALLY HOT. I made one of the biggest mistakes I could have ever made in my life. We got married. I didn't marry for love or money, I married for lust. We started living together in September and married in February. We never dated. That is where I f***** up bad. I learned to love him over the years. We have been together almost 15 years.

I guess I am feeling blue because he and I are looking for a house. Easier said than done. He is looking for something expensive and small and I am looking for something huge and in the right school district. I found my dream house last night and he won't even give it a second look. Sure I'm upset about it. I can't believe he doesn't feel the same way that I do. It has 3000 sqft, 6 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It's perfect! He thinks it's ugly. End of story! He won't even give it a second look. He found one that was just shy of 1800 sqft, no closets way out in the middle of east nowhere, but it has a huge garage! BFD! The only thing it had going for it was that it was pretty, big whoop! The rooms were way too small and it was just not right but hey it had a huge friggin garage. I think I am ready to just walk away, disappear and never be heard from again. I swear I am just going to turn in to a bitter old woman with a lot of cats. I might just as well. The whole reason I started this entry about my education (or rather the lack thereof) leads me to one conclusion. I cannot afford to move out and live on my own. I am not extremely educated. I am a paralegal. That is pretty cut and dry and boring, not to mention it pays diddly-squat. I'm not saying my husband is a bad man, we are just way different with different ideas about life and finances. He makes a SHITLOAD of money but he is so poor with the finances that he has dragged us through bankruptcy, not to mention other embarrassing endeavors. I am just tired of his drama and trying to impress the people around him. I want function in my life not disfunction. I just want a place to call home that I am comfortable in. I could give a shit what anyone in this world thinks of me. If you like me, great, I like you too, if you love me, chances are pretty good that I love you right back. If you can't stand me, good then get the f*** out of my world, I have no time for stupid people.

I'm getting to the point where I don't have a lot of positive things to say or feel about my husband. I hope things get better soon and I hope these feelings are all due to PMS or menopause. I deserve to be happy and it's been a long long time since I have felt true happiness. Please reassure me I am not alone in feeling isolated and alone. Has anyone else felt all alone when you are surrounded by people who love them?!?!

I AM BLOGGING AT WORK!!!!

Ssshhhh.... Don't tell anyone. I am sitting here listening to my boss hollering. One secretary having to change quite a number of things on a closing that happened on Friday (umm it's closed, it's over!) another secretary seems to have lost a very important document and is on the verge or freaking out (she should be better organized) and another is wandering around the office trying to look like she is doing something. Me I have my computer monitor facing away from the masses so it just looks like I am working intently over here when in fact I am writing this, *heehee*. I hate working post closing in real estate at the end of the month. Well, I had better go copy something so they don't get suspicious.........

MY BEST BUD SENT THIS TO ME.....

So I decided that being great Photoshop deserved to be my avatar for a while. I know it's cheezy but I like it.

We are still house hunting and are touring a model home in hopes of building one, we shall see.... We had this one (the one we live in now) built in 97 and moved here in 98. We are moving out of the county in hopes to get a better education for the children. I can't afford Catholic school or any other private school in the area, but I can afford to get a 2300 square foot house. Kinda messed up huh? It should be the other way around. I should be living in my humble home and my kids should get the education they deserve without us having to move. Oh well, I can't wait to see how this drama unfolds, I'll keep you posted....

I can't wait till Cher comes back, I miss her.... I know a lot of people have a lot of things going on. Well, especially ones with babies but sometimes these blogs are my escape from everyday boredom. Sometimes they are the one thing during my day that gives me something to laugh about. Just know that those of you out there that think your words don't mean anything, or that it doesn't really matter....... sometimes it really does.

HAPPY ONE WEEK BIRTHDAY EVERETT HUGH!!!

You are one lucky little boy!

YEP, HAD A GOOD WEEKEND...

Had the rents up to celebrate St. Patty's Day. Here are some pics of our outing...

River Street...

The Riverboat...

Psychic Readings??? I guess they knew no one was coming so they left....

A pirate and a rose-chick....

Porta-potty hell...

Just a few pics of our time together, there would be more but blogger is being quite poopy tonight and won't let me upload more... Hope all is well with everyone!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

I know it's a day early, but hey, I live in Savannah and I am not gonna be blogging tomorrow. The rents (parents) are coming and the hubby is working so I am trekking them to the parade. I bought 6 folding chairs just so we don't have to stand and watch the parade. The kids are excited, I personally hate parades,

but..... gotta do what we gotta do.

When it's all said and done, I am gonna dive in to a pint and call it a day!

FYI.. My back is so much better. Thank GOD for muscle relaxers and sleeping pills! I am almost 100%.

WELL HERE I AM AGAIN....

This last weekend (and last week for that matter) didn't let me see a moment of peace. We finished emptying out the attic. Man we had a buncha shit up there!!! We made 2 trips to the dump and 3 to the storage unit. We painted the hallway and did a few odds and ends. Then and only then I threw my back out. I am all crooked and in pain. But I went to work today and suffered through it. I'll be alright I popped it back in place and now I am just waiting for the swelling to go down. Here is a reminder for everyone out there; Do not lift and turn at the same time...

Oh and here is one good reason I live in Savannah, Georgia, one of the most beautiful cities in the world...

This is what Christmas looks like at Forsythe Park. I love the south!

THEY CAME HOME.....

I went to their house yesterday and gave the baby his first bath (and he gave me one too, he peed all over me). I also gave my friend and her husband haircuts. They really needed it, bad! So by the time I left, I was full of cut hair, I was wearing her hubbys shirt and I had pee on my bra.... They on the other hand had new haircuts and everyone was showered and ready for bed. I love this new baby. I told my kids that when a baby pees on you that means that he loves you and Baby Girl said,"he must really REALLY love you Mama." Yeah, I guess he does.

 

HERE IS JAMES HAMPTON__________!!!!

This was taken in the hospital last night. I know it's not a great pic but I just wanted to get the pic taking over with and just hold him. He is so tiny and sweet. Mom & baby are both doing so well. I am so proud of her. I will post more pics and better pics next time I visit with them. Hope everyone is staying out of trouble and thank you all for your kind sweet words. It really does mean a lot to me.

 

UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!!

James Hampton ___________ is here!!! He is finally here!!! When I get pics, I'll post, I promise. He was born at 5:30 yesterday via C-section. 7 lbs, 1 oz, 20 inches long with a full head of thick brown hair. Mommy and baby are both doing great! I am on my way after work to love that baby!!!

In case you missed it, this is one of my dearest friend's baby. I am SO excited!

HE'S ALMOST HERE.....

Remember my friend that is preggers and I went to her house to get her nursery together??? Well, she is in the hospital right now. I have no idea if the baby is here yet or not, but I'll know soon enough. For her sake, I hope he is here by now. His name is James Hampton _______. Hampton is a strange middle name, but hey a family name is a family name. My son's middle name is a family name (poor kid). But in my defense, I was in labor and I told my hubby,"I don't care what his middle name is!" His first name is _____ and that's final!!!" LOL!!! So the hubby gave him his middle name. He named him after his father. My hubby was 7 months old when his dad died of colon cancer. He grew up without a dad and his mother raised he and his sister alone. She never dated again out of respect for her late husband and her children. I love my mother in law, she is a beautiful, strong proud woman. I have total respect for her. I like her too, she has a fantastic sense of humor.

And can you believe that no one I know personally even knows about my blog so you know I must be telling the truth. One of these days I will post some pics of his family. I wish I had their dark skin. BG and I are paper white. Hubby and little man only wear sunscreen because I tell them to!

Wow! That was a tangent!!! All this because I wanted to tell everyone that James is on his way!!!

LITTLE BIG MAMA.....

That's right, that's me about 2 years old. WTF was my mother thinking cutting my hair like that. She said my brother cut it, yeah right, like I believe that! Look at those eyes, I look mean (and where might I ask are my eyebrows?!?!)

I think this is first grade, but that was a looooong time ago. Tell me my baby girl doesn't look like me....

This one is 3rd grade I think, looking a little thick if I do say so myself... Gotta love those clothes from the 70's!

I am pretty sure this is the 4th grade. Obviously we were well fed! Gotta love the outfit (yet again, thanks mom for making this outfit, NOT!)

That's Big "Little" Mama, please be kind, I was a product of the 70's, it wasn't my fault.....