.......aaaaaand the weekend sucked.......

I knew you were all waiting to hear of all the wonderful events of the weekend. I wish there was something wonderful to tell you. We were going to leave Friday night to go to my brother's place. He lives 2 hours south of here and is a nice 1/2 way stopping point to my parents. Well, I got out of work all excited, raced home ready to go....... I walked in the door only to hear my hubby snoring. He was asleep on our bed....with a migraine. I know he didn't plan it and I know he would have rather NOT had it... I couldn't do anything and I couldn't leave him there. So for my 40th birthday I did laundry. BFD! I was not a happy camper. I didn't even have a beer in the house to drown my sorrows. (yes folks it would only take one to drown me) Then I got the screamin me me's. I played that little violin of pity for myself.

I remember when I was 10 years old and my father turned 40. It was a HUGE deal. The whole town showed up and celebrated my dad "going over the hill". That was the first time I ever got drunk. I remember thinking that turning 40 was a huge event just waiting to happen. It wasn't....

I asked my husband to throw me a party. I had asked him since my 39th birthday. I didn't want him to forget. He didn't forget, he just didn't do anything for me. Now here is more pity.......

I told him that I never had a wedding shower and I was good with that;

I never had a honeymoon and I was good with that;

I never had a baby shower with either kid and I was good with that;

I never ever ever ask for anything, I don't ever expect anything. I am thankful for what I get when I get it. My mother raised me to be humble. I think I am.....well, until now! All I have ever asked for was a 40th birthday party where my friends can come and get together to celebrate me. You know, to reaffirm that I am loved and needed. One of my biggest fears is that I am going to leave this earth without anyone even remembering that I was ever here. Am I crazy for giving myself a pity party because I didn't get the 40th birthday party that I thought I deserved? My parents tried really hard Saturday to give me something. I know it was thrown together at the last minute. Bro2 came with his wife and annoying daughter. Bro1 only lives like 40 minutes away and couldn't be bothered. They gave me 2 shirts, 2 gag gifts and 2 mugs (and I don't drink coffee). At least they tried I suppose. Then mom served chicken and biscuits. I don't like chicken and biscuits, that is my bro1's favorite dinner. She got us confused (again). Of course I ate it and didn't say a word. The cake was good and dad remembered my favorite ice cream, that counts. Oh well, I give it to her that even at the last minute she tried really hard. My parents love me so very much. So am I just being selfish? I am getting through it, but next year he can forget the party I WAS planning!

You know me I'm a sucker and I'll still throw it I am just talking all big...