MERRY CHRISTMAS...

I haven't had a very Merry Christmas this year. As you can probably tell. I have tried to smile and keep it strong for my husband and my children but I feel like I am failing miserably. I have never been this sad, ever. My body aches and I just want to sleep. I just can't seem to achieve it. When I close my eyes I see my nephew. I see his big brown eyes and his smiling face. He was always "my boy". I knew him better than anyone and sometimes better than he knew himself. I am profoundly sad and I am trying really hard to work through it. I am going to start a college fund for his son. I feel it is the least I can do for him. I just wish I could tell him one more time just how much I love him. He always knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved him unconditionally, no strings attached. The last time we chatted on IM I told him to "stay safe and be careful" and his last words to me were,"Don't worry Tia, I'm always careful..." He really was. The night he was murdered he was trying to break up a fight. Always the peace maker. He was like a son to me. I can honestly say that I loved him like I love my own children, with my whole heart.

Please everyone don't wait another minute to tell the person that means the world to you just that. Hold them for all it's worth and let them know how very loved they are. Do it for me, because I can't.

Merry Christmas my friends and thank you so much for your kind words and support, I really need your shoulders right now.